Hello, Good Morning

When I woke up this morning to my darling terrier puppy licking my face as if he were an alarm clock... I immediatley thought of blogging. I have all these crazy things rushing through my head about writing and how I have always wanted to be a real writer but A) Never thought I was talented enough and B) Couldnt make a living doing it (plus I am a terrible speller). I shot myself in the foot before I stood up to walk. Recently I had a conversation with a very confident man (who by the way seems like he never doubts himself I hate him for that) he told me if you want to do something dont stop yourself because you are afraid to fail. who cares if you dont make money or develop a best seller or even never get published. Just write maybe it will be good just to get some things on paper. He was right (but I didnt say that and if you tell anyone Ill deny it). After my coffee an emotional breakdown of crying for five minutes and a chat with my friend, I logged on. To realize I am my only reader my only follower on this blog so far. Utter dissapointment as if I had failed and have not even found a center or destination for my blog entries.I actually spoke with no one in the room but the terriers "Hell I haven't even started this thing yet, and I have already failed", so I logged out and figured I'm not going to post then, "I quit".  I quickly corrected myself and started typing.
Ill admit ...and I don't admit this to anyone "I'm scared". In order to be an effective writer you have to be willing to "bare your soul" dramatic right? People need to identify and if you write about you it better be real and it better be interesting. I even told "Mr. Confident" "don't read my blog and if you do, don't comment on it its embarrassing." I was turning away customers as if I didn't want to sell my goods. So I will ask people to read, be embarrassed, bare my soul and tell the truth because that what I expect in a writer. Its barely pass noon and I have already cried about being unemployed, felt failure, conquered fear and fed and walk my adorable terriers. Not bad, as for this blog still no real direction besides to feel like a high school student writing in my journal but its a start....I'm writing. It does make me happy and my direction my plot or my angle will come. If anyone ever does read this perhaps you could leave me a comment let me know if you have any suggestions. Who am I kidding I better find something interesting to say or no one will ever read it but stillI tried and failed ...I tried and conquered. Go me.